So, you’ve just finished pushing a boxed jelly fish through a round mold, when a council representative walks up to you and says, “Tomorrow the M.O.D is going to slap a rocket launcher on your balcony.”  What do you say?

It doesn’t matter, they’re going to do it whether you like it or not.  It’s true the Olympics will bring some much needed employment to the area and there’s been a lot of interest, at the job centre, about becoming an official Olympic suicide security guard.  But honestly, where can you train for a career like that?

The residence of the Lexington House in the Bow Quarter, east London seem a tad worried by the possibility of a surface to air missile launcher being bolted to the top of their water tower.  I’d say that that’s the least of their worries.  I’d be more concerned about a local gang member shinning up the tower and nicking a few whizz bangs for the scrape metal! 

Logically, it isn’t the people behind the missiles that should be worried.  I mean; the retro thrust might singe the odd curtain or fry a roving hamster, but that’s about it.  No, I’d be more inclined to worry about being in a five mile radius from where it was fired, because that’s their range.  And, let’s face it; what’s left after it explodes, and what it hits, could land absolutely away.  I can see the insurance companies making up the claim forms and the adverts already.  

I guess you have to ask yourself, why did the military select a residential block as the location for the missile battery?   It’s not that difficult to work out.  Pull a PR stunt where the locals are bound to be up in arms and down in the mouth and it’ll hit the media quicker than pedophile’s hard drive. 

So it really boils down to down to a psychological advertising campaign to all would-be terrorists that backfired (pun intended).  I mean, you’ve got to be extraordinarily stupid to believe the launch sites have been filmed or disclosed, and MI6 said to the advertising controller, “Here, stick this on after the Weetabix commercial will you, and see if you can get on the 9 o’clock news too.”  

Well, if this is the way things are shaping, I want my own form of protection; you may feel the same way.  I contacted Sebastian Coe and asked him to forward me at least two anti personnel mines for the front path, four bazookas and an assortment of grenades.  Do you know what he sent me, a standard issue Olympic catapult?

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This entry was posted on Sunday, May 13th, 2012 at 4:48 pm and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.