Now, call me cynical but, what chances do the Brits have of winning gold in the 2012 Olympic games? 

For a start it’s in our country.  And right there is the first hurdle.  [Did you see what I did there, Olympics, hurdles.  Oh please yourselves]   The budget is, at the moment, set at 9.3 billion but there are worrying signs that this figure will overrun due to formidable circumstances.   No, no, not the credit crunch no, it’ll all go tits up because of the English way of competing, we’re rubbish at it.  We say, sorry, when someone bumps into us!  What chance have got on the track?  “Oooh sorry, no after you.”   And that’s just the tip of the big floaty thing that sunk the Titanic.

Forget about the cash for now, that’s the least of our worries.   So far no one has mentioned our inclement weather.  Can you imagine the opening ceremony if there’s an early shift in the global warming figures!  Somewhere out there is the iceberg that sank the unsinkable ship, and if that’s on the melt, the eastend will be nothing more than a boating lake.  Which is a shame really, because no one in that part of London can afford a boat.

Another problem I can see occurring is the vital link between the competitor’s event sites and their Olympic sleeping quarters.   How the hell are they going to and from an event on time using London Transport for God’s sake.  In fact that should be the new sport, pick a route, and the last person to arrive at the stadia is the winner!   And, bloody and, what a stroke of luck for anyone planning a strike in the future. 

If it’s none of the above then we can always rely on the cone fairy to cock up transportation times.  Somebody, somewhere, in a civic office has already agreed to pull up the High Street at the most inappropriate moment, with out telling anybody.  “Sorry mate, this bit of paper says, up it comes.”  I can just see it now, it’ll be the greatest bollocks up in the history of the games.   Personally I can’t wait to miss it on the television, it’ll be a waste of money and electric, and it will  up the carbon footprint 10 fold, and for what?  A soppy bloody gong made in Taiwan for thruppence…   

I THANK YOU… Bipolar Bill will on holiday for two weeks, gotta recharge the old batteries guys…

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 19th, 2009 at 1:01 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.