Now, as far back as I can remember there has always been some form of equality for women in the British Isles.  It might have been as well balanced as the ‘little’ lady liked, but at the bare minimum you would have a door opened for you on occasions…

In the fifties, mummy was brain-washed into believing that she had to do everything for her man, because that’s what the generation before did.  Thankfully, I’m glad say, that attitude has changed however, a certain faction of the female lady-partners will insist on moaning about their life-style choices, their partners eventually and why they haven’t got enough shoes, and more often that not it’s the male partner who cops the flak…

So, I appeal to the chaps to contact me with regard to this annoyance, and I will personally arrange a trip for any  nagging trouts, old and young, to see if I can help the nagees, and give the naggers something to think about.  And I thought I’d start with a six month break in Saudi Arabia, where they will live the life of a Saudi wife, just to see how they get on.

Now the first subject that may cause our British ladies some problems is the religious side of life.  Most serious out there, and largely in favour of the lads I feel.  And, perhaps this is due to the fact that the Saudi book of ‘ This is how it’s gonna be’ was alledgedley written by a bloke, much like our ‘rule book’ of life. 

But you know, I can’t recall seeing a clause in the C of E handbook where it states that: men are superior to women and are commanded to beat their wives if they are disobedient.  Moreover, when I went to Sunday school, (that’s attended, not forced to attended), I don’t remember our teacher saying that it would be absolutely tip-top to have as much rumpy-pumpy as I liked, with all of my wives and concubines, when I grew up.

Call me old fashioned, but it seems to me as if the rules change for the blokey-bloke-about-town depending on what country he happens to have been born in!  Okay, I was born in England, and maybe I am a bit of a softy, I really don’t give a toss.  At least I’m not a sexist pig who thinks he can control, beat and debase women just because a rather old book says I can.  Maybe, just maybe, these books should be updated, after all, EVERYTHING needs updating at some point doesn’t it!

In these far of lands, will your daughter be able to gain an education?  WHAT!  Why would you need one, when you have a bunch of men to tell you what to do for the rest of you natural life.  That’s assuming you tow the line and don’t get executed in the process.  In any case, you can’t go around being smarter than a man, what would his mates think?  I mean Jesus, if the ladies start thinking for themselves they’ll want to start driving cars on the strength of that! 

Worse still – they might want to get a job!  Fuck that for a game of soldiers!  What ever next – conversations with men outside their family, while they’re completely unattended by a man from a man inside their family circle!!!  Good God, the whole fabric of society would break down.  No, no, I can see why you would need a strict rule to hid behind, especially if you wanted to suppress one section of the population, do what you like and have sex on tap.

Let’s consider the breaking of rules for a moment.  That too seems to fall heavily to one side, the female side you maybe surprised to hear!  You may have just gone out to hang up the washing in the garden, you know, stepped out side of your house.  But did you ask for permission, more importantly, did you ask a man?  No!  Oh deary, deary me!  Well, let’s see what it says in the ‘good book’ about that… no, before we start delving into how to recieve a damn good ‘scourging’ (Flailed) by your loving hubby, let’s take a look at the punishment for the children.

Now I don’t care what background you’ve come from or how much money you’ve got in the bank, everyone during their formative years has nicked something, even if it was for a dare.  So how do you deal with this?  Well, every parent has a different approach depending on the details of this petty crime.  My dad gave me a damn stiff taking too, and that was enough to put me off a life of pilfering.  Let’s take in a few facts from the book of ‘This is how it’s gonna be’. 

Not only do the laws state that women are not just second class citizens, half a man, at times their very exsistence is disregarded.  And someone pointed out that the ladies of Saudi have managed  to achieve equality in one field only: equal rights to imprisonment, exile, torture, being killed and now slaughter.  Well there you are, things are really moving forward now!!!  Is that, “I will survive,” playing in the background…

In the children’s department it seems that being punished, suddenly the more mature the female is, the more responsible they are for their actions.  Overall, less rights, more punishment – nice!  So, if you can imaging a scenario where a boy of 14 and a girl of 9 stole an item, here’s how it would pan out.  According to the laws the girl would lose four fingers on her right hand for a first offence.  On a second offence her left foot would be cut off, she would go to prison for a third offence and on a fourth occasion she would be executed!  Possibly a tad harsh.  The boy, on the other hand, with the missing digits, would go Scott free. 

Sounds like a great place to live – if you’re a bloke…  Still think your life’s crap?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011 at 5:28 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.