Katie Price (aka Jordan) Literally Shitting out her Latest Books before an astounded audience at Waterstones, Stoke.
I don’t know about you but, aren’t you just a tad bored with what Ms Price aka Jordan is up too next? The spin-offs from her soppy life-style have got beyond a joke, especially when you consider there are more interesting subjects to worry about. And who gives a shit about what Peter Andre is doing next week? There’s two programmes right there where the airtime could have been better filled. I mean, there are actually people on the planet who haven’t got enough water to drink. Hasn’t anyone realised that she pays someone to come up with next ridiculous story in her so-called life? She is a cute business person, there’s no doubt about that, but her morals suck.
It’s got false fun-bags, a reconstructed face and bright white teeth, it’s just a shame that she didn’t spend any money on her brain. “Mummy, what did you do for a living when we were growing up?” “Well, I used to get my tits out on a regular basis, I made a home porn film, which mysteriously got leaked to the press, and married an idiot and got paid to make it all into a TV programme. “Will we get ridiculed at school because of your past mummy?” “Ooh no, well not much anyway!”
We’ve gone from, What Katie did next, then the farce that was ‘The Wedding’ and the spin-off from that was, What Peter did next, after the split. Who’s funding this shit? The gossip mags, and the twats that buy them because they haven’t got a life of their own I feel. And now her mum and brother have got in on the act when they appeared on the day time television show, This Morning. I only hope that those two don’t get a show each, but I reckon it’s on the cards And let’s not forget Katie’s cleaner and all of her relatives and friends too.
The This Morning slot was one of the most inane pieces of television I have ever seen. “Katie has gone to the jungle to acquireclosure,” apparently – awww bless. And there was me thinking it was for the alleged £500,000 pay cheque. “She wanted a space were she could be alone.” Well, I can’t think of a better place to go than a jungle set with 12 other people she’s never met, oh, and let’s not forget the 20 hidden cameras. Have you ever heard such a load of old bollocks! Of course, we might all be in for a shock when Katie Jordan Price (it’s the same person, unless she has a personality disorder) hands over ALL of the wonga she acquired for her return to the jungle, to Water Aid. Could happen, but don’t hold your breath!
BB has got to go now as I start a new college course, next week. Yes, I going to be… a seahorse whisperer…
Name check: Billy Twevletrees. (cricketer) Where do you pick up a last name like that?
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