Thank God – it’s all over…
Well aside from the ‘dancing about a bit on a mat’ event, I’ve spotted a few more dubious pastimes that have made it to Olympic status…
You have to wonder how much money changed hands, while clearly under the influence of copious amount of alcohol, when it came to pushing the vote through for Handball. Jesus – grown adults running around like their lives depended on it. I’ve never seen anything so farcical. The rules have been set for children and really, they’re the ones that should be playing it. How do you score? By placing the ball in your hand and lobbing it in the goal! Honestly, how much training do you need for that? I could do it when I’m pissed.
Talking of which, I saw a clip of this next event and I’m fairly sure the Greek Olympiads would be turning in their urns at the mere thought of this sport being included in the games. There was certainly a track but sadly that’s where the actual sporting element ended as far as I can see.
Yes, there are competitors and yes they’re all chasing one another, ever keen to cross the finishing line. To add to the thrills and spills, the track had dips and humps in it and many adults take part. Some have trained for years to compete and how great it must to say to the world, “Yes I won a bronze on my trusty BMX! What an arse.
The games class issue has come into view again this week, in the guise of the, ‘Poncing about on 14 hundred pounds of cat food’ event. Most people couldn’t afford the clothes for Dressage, let alone buy a bloody horse and feed it. And you won’t be surprised to hear it gets sillier and sillier. Water polo, I ask you! What the hell’s that all about? The words ‘scraping’ and ‘barrel’ spring to mind. If this is the level we’re aiming for, don’t be surprised if the next games has the vicious and cutthroat sport that is tiddlywinks.
In the, ‘running around in circles’ race, an athlete fractured his leg. Did he stop and call for the ‘magic sponge’? No, he kept running as his team needed to qualify, and he finished the race. He’ll never run again of course, largely due to bone sticking through his thigh muscle still, dems the breaks I suppose.
I’ve also become a tad concerned about the ‘splashing around in the water’ races. Oh yes, they can’t fool me. Dress it up how you like and call them what you will, there are still eight types of boating events. And they follow an identical format; they face forwards and row backwards, how interesting! And not once have I seen the oarsmen using a rear view mirror to see where they’re going. It’ voodoo I tell you.
And finally… Volley ball. You’ve got to be kidding me; it’s nothing more than beach porn for bottom lovers.
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