Well it seems as though the news is much the same as last week, a bit of death, and the economy is still shite, despite what the government figures say, so here’s a piece from my next book.  Again, it’s a true story, so I hope it causes a few grins.  Of course it may put you off chocolate Brazil nuts for life!  

Now this particular story isn’t a totally unique one.  I’ve heard it before, but as it’s a true story, and not just an urban myth I think it’s worth an airing, especially as it was an account that was witnessed, first hand, by a friend’s mother who used to work in the social services sector.

It was her first week at her health unit for the elderly, and Mrs Lim was fresh out of college.  She was given a few days to get the run of the place, and went out on calls with the resident nurses to meet the people on, what would become, her patch.  She fitted in well, and was a hit with all of her new patients, and one of her regulars was a pensioner called, Margret.  Eighty-four she might have been, but she still had most of her faculties, she was fit for her age, and she had a healthy appetite too.

At the end of Mrs Lim’s first month Margret decided she wanted to give her a small present, just as a thank you for the help she’d given her.  However, Margret would have a fight on her hands, as the nursing weren’t supposed to accept gifts from their patients.  After much badgering she persuaded Mrs Lim to take a bag of Brazil nuts, and asked her to share them out with her friends at the unit, which she did.  A month went by and Margret presented Mrs Lim with another bag of Brazils, but Mrs Lim had to put her foot down this time, and went on to explain that it wasn’t just the fact that the staff weren’t allowed to accept gifts, there was also the mater of the cost to take into consideration.

Margret had an answer to everything and said, “Oh I don’t buy them, my daughter gets them for me when she goes to the supermarket, I’ve got lots of them.”  Mrs Lim then pondered on the thought that they must be difficult to eat, even with a set of false teeth, and mentioned this point to Margret before returning to the clinic.  A chipper Margret replied, “Oooh no, I threw my teeth away 40 years ago, no when I get them they’re covered in chocolate, so I just suck it all off and keep the nuts in a bag, and then give them to my friends.”  Ewwwwwwwwwww!  Happy Christmas…        

Oooh, don’t forget, next week is ‘sandblast a leper’ in The Sun, week!

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 7th, 2009 at 7:06 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.