Hey there my invisible chums. 

Well, I was stuck for a subject this weekend and thought I’d have to miss a blog update, but then the Gods of humour, Gigglus Muchus and Lottus Laughious came unto me and handed over a topic from comedy heaven.  Yes, we’re still with the Michael Jackson case, but I couldn’t resist making  my comments known to the world after I heard the line, “Michael Jackson’s nose is missing,” emanating from the flashing coloured box in my front-room.  Thank God for the BBC News24…

I don’t know how the announcer kept a straight face when uttering those words.  I burst out laughing.  According to a ‘witness,’ he had a false proboscis that was missing as he lay in the morgue.  As a follow up Jackson’s housekeeper is reported to have said, “He had lots of false noses in a jar.”  Well, she would say that, she needs the money!  However, it poses the question, which other bodily parts were false? 

Did he have a special nose that he used when he went to the corner shop for example?  Embracing that thought for a moment, perhaps he had an occasional conk to match his evening wear?  I mean, if you had a whole range of new body parts you’d want to show them off on special occasions wouldn’t you?   Easter ear lobes maybe, or a Passover penis perhaps?  I know have!  And why stop there.  You might as well have an extra set of ribs for Ramadan, a range of hair for Honneka and a set of birthday bollocks too!  I know I have!  

I can see where all of this is leading, and it’s going to be the mother of all funerals.  Have you spotted the comparisons between the death of Michael Jackson and a young Egyptian king?  The gold coffin.  The missing body parts, which, as we speak maybe being placed in storage jars for his journey into the after life?  So here’s the crux of the matter, where will his remains be buried?  There’s no way they can be placed six feet under, it wouldn’t be deep enough to put off the ardent  idiot fans digging him up and sticking him on their mantelpiece would it?   So here’s my forecast.  There will be an extra passenger on the next NASA mission and Michael Jackson will the first person to be interred on the moon!  Far fetched?  No more far fetched than what’s going on here on earth at moment…   

Right, I’m off, I’ve got to wrap up a present for my mum, I bought her a Bank holiday buttock!

Bipolar Bill (“,)

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 25th, 2009 at 3:39 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.