I seem to remember a time when if you had an intruder in your home, they had more rights than the owner.  Only in England could this be a fact.  But it’s alright, if you’re a conservative with a shotgun, you can now pop a cap or two in their asses!  Bloody good job I reckon, but how would that work for the everyday labour voter, faced with the same situation?

Well I guess it all depends on where you live and what class of burglar your property attracts.  If you live on a farm say, you’re likely to be facing down the barrel of a 12 bore and if you reside on an estate, it’s likely you’ll be on the rough end of a baseball bat.  But I can’t help think that the conservative law will benefit a conservative voter over a labour support.  Picture the scene…

Burt Cobblers, of 74, Gusset Lane, London is woken up in the small hours by noises in his flat, prior to a lock-in at the ‘Slapper’s Rest.’  He stirs, locates his trusty bat, enters his front-room and batters the intruder to a pulp, then calls old bill.  At this point he thinks justice has been served.  Wrong – Burt is arrested for GBH!  Then, the scum bag that broke into his abode sues for damages! 

Conversely, Simian Pilchard-Crop the III and his wife Jocasta, of Wonga Avenue, Rutland, we’re awoken by the sound of disturbed thoroughbreds, prior to an evening of beater thrashing in readiness for the weekend shoot. 

Grope, the butler loads the 49 grand’s worth of his master’s favourite Purdey & Sons bird maiming equipment and waits at the base of the balustrades.  Simian shoots, Grope cleans up the mess and pushes the alarm that’s linked to the local constabulary.  Simian and Jocasta are promptly arrested then instantaneously released – hoorah!

I suppose you have to try and get into the mindset of a burglar.  Some do it for the shear buzz, others take people’s possessions for a quick cash deal, and some make a career out of thieving.  But, when all said and done, you have to ask yourself, what pillock would break into a house knowing that the occupants were still tucked up in bed?

In one case, a farm was burgled more than once, and the owner shot two of the buggers with a licensed firearm.  A conservative MP stated that this was ‘reasonable force’, which begs the question, what is reasonable force in the   working class world?  You’ve got your man down by spanking his head of the woodwork and he’s now unconscious.  Still unhappy the scoundrel used your front room as a public convenience and helped himself to your last cold sausage, you reverse your jag over him.  Apparently, this is unreasonable force!

This entry was posted on Monday, October 15th, 2012 at 4:22 pm and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.