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Beckham’s Doris to design new Range Rover

 

Well, I’ve heard some old bollocks in my time, but this just about beats it all…  Posh ‘I haven’t got a record contract’ Beckham is to design the new Range Rover mini off-roader.  How the fuck did she get put forward for that job?  I mean, don’t give the job to and up and coming designer, who could do with a break.  No, no, no, no, no,  give it to a talentless twatoid who’s already got quite a few bob in the bank, thanks to her old man!!!  I’m incensed – you can tell can’t you!

I’m mean, what has she done lately?  Jack shit really.  From being a pop puppet for a few years, Posh married David.  Then, she reformed with the other members of the Spice Girls, just for a quick buck, and then tried a solo career.  What a shambles that was too, she couldn’t even lip-sink in a live situation!   

Then, then, some bloody idiot suggested she should try her hand in the fashion game, O-H… M-Y… G-O-D!!!   Apparently her clothes line is doing well.  Mind you, she is the width of a clothes line, so I suppose it would!  Did she take a college course in fashion?  I think not!  So how on earth did she elevate her way to such a position, the school leavers cried?  Well children, what you do is surround yourself with a bunch of ‘yes people’ and ride up on the victim’s past glory.  

Range Rover came to me to see if I could workout just how Victoria was going add her vast knowledge of design to their latest vehicle.  Firstly, she could pick the colour.  Then maybe she could do a photo shoot.  The pictures won’t be used for a fashion magazine, she’ll just stand there and be the model for the dip stick and the aerial!  And lastly, she could lay on a huge windscreen while an artist draws her so they can get shape for the new window wipers! 

Well, lummy lorks guvnor, put me down for two, they’re only 30 grand a piece….

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