A group of football fans wives joined forces in London last week, in a bid to prevent their husbands arriving home completely rat-arsed, only to discover that they can’t find the toilet.
One wife said, “He comes in, demands another beer, and then I find him standing at the top of the stairs with his old chap out saying, “Blimey, the bog looks bigger all of a sudden!”
To put an end to this suffering, an engineer from the group has invented a belt, which can be fitted to their partners before they begin drinking.
The Satellite Lavatory Ancillary Stabiliser Hub (S.L.A.S.H) or Sat Lav for short goes on sale next year.
NEWS FLASH…
The Royal Institute for the Blind came under scrutiny last week, when one of its members, and his Labrador, were arrested in a forested area of north London. Three other visually impaired males are still on the run.
An arresting officer informed the press that lewd acts were taking place, and the incident involved five vehicles that were parked by a bridle path. The officer went onto say that this was the first reported case of guide-dogging in the UK.
AQUATIC NEWS…
Scientists researching the dolphin, in a bid to understand why they look as if they’re smiling and sound as if they’re laughing, have found conclusive evidence. A marine biologist said today, “It’s because they can fart through their head!”
THIS JUST IN…
Raffle tickets go on sale today for the chance to visit the Hadron particle accelerator. The lucky winner will be given a tour of the site, and this will be followed by a three course meal and a Pina Collider.
THE WEATHER…
Yes, there will be weather over most countries at some point.
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