Now it’s come to my notice that in these days of recession and unemployment the work market has become a difficult place to shine.  So what can you do to climb above your rivals?  Well the most obvious angle to aim for is a niche you can call your own before everyone else jumps on the bandwagon.  My advice, and this comes from minutes of careful thought, become an explorer.  The only real problem is that this job, (job – hahahahahaaha) excludes the ordinary work pleb.  I mean, when was the last time The Sun’s headlines ran, Burt Pilchard from Hackney climbs the North Col!

I can’t see what all the fuss is about.  It’s just walking and climbing – I can do that and so can you!  Okay, to the top of the Tibetan hill it’s 29,029 ft or roughly 9,676 yards.  Well I’ve paced it out and it’s about the same distance from my house to Wood Green and back again give or take a snow flake.   When do you work?  About once every three years.  What do you in the meantime?  Try to ponce as much money off someone else to pay for your trip as possible.   Brilliant! 

The job is undertaken in stages, basically the journey starts life as nothing more than a bloody camping holiday.  You get flown to the campsite and when you arrive you are assigned a party of Tibetan work plebs to show you the way!   At base camp you make sure, being British, that it’s you, you, you, who are in charge and it’s you, you, you who are going to cop all the glory when you get to the top of the double glazing head quarters. 

At camp four things aren’t going so well and the food rations are running low.  Never mind, eat a Sherpa, you can always pick up another one at Sherpa’s R us which can be found on an industrial site on the South Col.   At camp five you tell your man, Sherpa, don’t mind me I was born to carry all of your gear despite being much, much shorter than you, Smith that his work is over and and push him back down to base camp.  That’s after you get him to put up a couple of ladders to make the last 50 ft a tad easier of course.   You reach the top, you wave your wedding tackle about and shout, for I’m a jolly good fellow and walk back down again.  Honestly, is that what they’re really teaching students at Eton to do these days?  Well worth the money I reckon.  If they want a challenge I’ll pick the next one.  Across the Arctic – backwards – in just a string vest and a pair of nylon Y fronts!

Your ‘umble servant BB

This entry was posted on Monday, May 25th, 2009 at 3:24 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.