Well…if Nora Clacket from Dunbar had checked in to the Silver Hills psychiatric hospital, would anybody have given a toss?  No, is the simple answer to that.  However, if you’re a newly outed celebrity mental, outed by your publicist that is, man you’re gonna be popular!  I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall during that meeting…

As a type II sufferer, I am a tad confused by the statement issued by Catherine Zeta Jones’s spokeswoman, Cece Yorke.  She confirmed that she had received mental health treatment to help her cope with her traumatic personal life. ‘After dealing with the stress of the past year, Catherine made the decision to check into a mental health facility for a brief stay to treat her bipolar II disorder,’ she said.  She’s feeling great and looking forward to starting work this week on two upcoming films.’ 

Now, up until that point in the media, no-one knew that Zeta-Jones had a bipolar disorder, and hey, why should they, it’s none of their business.  So why disclose the news now, giving the just merest amount of facts, and then nothing more since the initial statement?  [Methinks someone was about to dish the dirt, and this was a PR excercise to quell the naughty rumours, while appeasing the film company’s backers that a certain party won’t be taken away in a ‘happy limo’, in the new Gucci ‘all-in-one jacket’ (straps a permanent feature) during takes!  Well – films are awfully expensive to make now-a-days.]   

Obviously, I don’t have a problem with people who suffer with a mental illness, but what I’m pissed off about, and believe me I am fuming, is the way this annoucement has been handled by her publicist.  This is how it came across to me sane, sober, and as ‘well’ as I can be for the last nine years, after five break-downs. 

Everything in Catherine Zeta Jones’s life was all going swimmingly: films, wealth, married into the Douglas family (more chashy-wonga) more films,(even more green-backs) had a couple kids, blah, blah, blah and blah.  And then – WALLOP – out of nowhere – she’s a mental  – and five days later she’s ‘feeling great’!  

I’d love to know what form of treatment she had, I could’ve done with that a few years ago.  “Mr Walton, you have a type II bipolar disorder.  Take four years out of your life while we find a drug that will give you a therapeutic effect.”  [Doffs cap – drags carcass out of hospital – loses job, house and marriage.]   I can only assume that Ms Jones must have slept in a new mental health microwave.  “Six minutes on high nurse,  Ms Jones your treatment is complete.”  “There’s lovely aren’t I, heres $3,850, oh bollocks, make it four grand.”     

From a medical prospective and my personal experiences of the disorder, I can’t help think that Ms Jones’s publicist has dropped a bollock on this one, because the story doesn’t add up.  I listened, completely agog, at information that all she had suffered with was 12 months of stress due to her husband’s diagnosis of throat cancer, she’d hit the drink and her fag input had reached the chain-smoking level.  Clearly there’s more to the story, there has to be. 

Will we find out the truth?  Oh yeah, you just wait, it’ll be a disgruntled former maid, chef or pool girl who blows it wide open, and all because a caring sharing publicist was worried that the stigma of mental ill health would affect her clients earning power and reduce her own income.  

I sincerely wish you well Catherine, and don’t worry, you are in a great circle of decent human beings, and if you ever want a chat, feel free to contact me (yeah, like that’s going to happen) but please, get a new publicist.  She has personally insulted me, and the rest of the bipolar squad, by her lack of knowledge of the illness, and given the impression that you can treat a type II bipolar disorder in five days…

Ooh look – it’s the Lithium lady!!!

This entry was posted on Monday, April 18th, 2011 at 5:28 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.