“You will feel a cold sensation creeping up your arm. That’s the anaesthetic going in. In about ten seconds you will be under.” Within two seconds the anaesthetic had already reached my elbow and had started to affect my vision. It was a pleasant feeling I have to say. I tried desperately to keep my eyes open, saying to the nurse, “I’m going to try and stay awa…” I never finished the sentence – it was lights out.
When you come to your senses, you are in the recovery room wondering how the hell you got there. Come to think of it, I couldn’t remember where I was before either. And why did I take my shoes and socks off? In the distance I could hear people talking and the chink of cups on saucers. A nurse came to check on me. I was still a bit woozy after the anaesthetic. As I came round she warned me not to stand up to quickly, in case I fell over. “When you come round a bit more you can join the others for a drink.”
My throat was as dry as a yak’s armpit. All I wanted now was a gallon of tea and twenty cigarettes. I sat up, looked around, found my trainers and socks and put them on as quickly as I could.
I was gagging for something to drink. In my haste I had forgotten what the nurse had said. I stood up and promptly fell back towards the bed. I panicked. I couldn’t work out why my arms and legs wouldn’t function properly. I sat back for a few minutes and tried hard to retrace my steps, but all I could remember was being knocked out – the rest was a total blank.
I got up, slower this time, and walked into the tea-room like an OAP who had just taken six Valium. I was beaming from ear to ear. The only drawback, it seemed was a skull-splitting headache. Everybody was in the same state. I saw faces I knew but couldn’t recall their names and like me, none of them could remember what had just happened. Yet we all sat there grinning at each other like Cheshire cats. My bloody cheeks were killing me afterwards. The jolt of electricity had jump-started my brain into happy mode. I couldn’t believe the change in myself.
We went back to the ward and started queuing for painkillers. As the day wore on the headaches subsided and the enforced smiling stopped. A few of us sat down and talked about what we had just been through. We had all experienced some form of memory loss. I couldn’t remember my date of birth for example. It was frightening to think that something like that could be erased from my memory. I was glad I wasn’t the only one feeling like it, something to do with safety in numbers I suppose.
Days after the treatment, I was still having trouble remembering things, but E.C.T. had definitely shifted my morose mood to a euphoric state at the flick of a switch. I had six sessions of E.C.T. followed by what can only be described as intermittent amnesia. I was discharged from Claybury Hospital after one month and was in a better frame of mind, though I was still suffering the side-effects of my medication and the E.C.T. memory block. I will cover the side effects of medication in another chapter.
The side-effects of electro-convulsive therapy are headaches, initially followed by short-term memory loss. In my case, this lasted three months. On the positive side, it shifted my mood in conjunction with anti-depressants. My only concern was that the doctors were unsure of its success in lifting depression. Another possible draw back was that a maximum of sixteen sessions were allowed.
If it failed to work after sixteen times then another solution would have to be found. Nobody has told me why or what happens if you have more? Interestingly enough when E.C.T. was first used fifty years ago, no anaesthetic was used. This makes me wonder, if it were to be invented today, would the British Medical Counsel allow its use in treating people suffering from clinical depression? There is no evidence of any permanent side effects caused from E.C.T
Updated information from the Royal College of Psychiatrists website…
Q What do those in favour of ECT say?
Many doctors and nurses will say that they have seen ECT relieve very severe depressive illnesses when other treatments have failed. Bearing in mind that 15% of people with severe depression will kill themselves, they feel that ECT has saved patients’ lives, and therefore the overall benefits are greater than the risks. Some people who have had ECT will agree and may even ask for it if they find themselves becoming depressed again.
Q What do those against ECT say?
There are many different views and many different reasons why people object to ECT. Some say that ECT is an inhumane and degrading treatment, which belongs to the past. They say that the side-effects are severe and that psychiatrists have either accidentally or deliberately ignored how severe they can be. They say that ECT permanently damages both the brain and the mind, and if it does work at all, does so in a way that is ultimately harmful for the patient. Many would want to see it banned.
I’m chuffed to say there’s been a good response to my first chapter, so I shall be adding chapter two as a follow up starting next week…
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